Nevermind Normal

41 Weeks...

2009-10-27T19:25:00.002-04:00

Well, here is my last weekly belly picture. I guess I might take another one tomorrow as the official "last" belly shot before the induction begins.

So tomorrow is the big day, and I'm very very ready at this point. I'm going to meet my son tomorrow and I can't wait!

Well...

2009-10-25T11:00:00.002-04:00

I'm not gonna lie. This sucks. I want him to come so bad and every day it gets harder to think about ANYTHING else.

At least I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, where I will hopefully leave with an eviction notice for the little one.

An Open Letter to My Unborn Child on His Due Date

2009-10-20T09:16:00.001-04:00

Dearest William,

Today is your due date, son. I know that those words and this date don’t mean much to you…but they mean a lot to your daddy and I. They mean that we have been waiting for you for 40 weeks, almost 10 months, or 280 days.

We really want to meet you, and show you just how much we love you. We want to hold you in our arms and give you tiny baby kisses on your sweet forehead, cheeks, fingers and toes. We want to show you off to everyone we know and everyone that you’ll come to know in time. We want you to meet your grandparents, and your great-grandparents…and even your great-great-grandmother. We want you to see your beautiful room and all of the things that you already have, thanks to the many people that love you despite never having met you.

Most of all, we just want you, and I just want to let you know that you are welcome to come at anytime…we are more than ready!

Love Always,
Mommy and Daddy

And here is the picture...

2009-10-13T18:52:00.002-04:00

Things are happening...

2009-10-13T09:14:00.004-04:00

Even if they aren't maybe happening fast enough for me...things are happening "down there". I've been having some contractions, albeit not the kind that are at all timeable or regular...just the kind that make you think that your body is trying to get the party started.

Oh, and per my doctor...I'm "a good" 1.5 cm dilated, so that gives me hope, as I was only "a fingertip" (yes I know that is a crude way to measure anything) dilated as of last week, and the week before. Maybe my body really DOES know what it is supposed to be doing? That would be a first.

AND now...back to work!

Oh Holy Craaaaaaap!!!!

2009-10-10T19:13:00.002-04:00

You see that baby floating around over there to the right of your screen? Yeah. You see that number underneath that baby? Yeah.

TEN

10 freakin days until d-day.

And yes, I know in all likelihood I will be pregnant for more than 10 days...but still. They gave me this date in February. NO, actually, they gave me October 14th originally...that's right. So they gave me this date on March 5th when we had our first ultrasound based on the development of the babe. I guess then I *could* possibly be even closer if my uterus decides to give its own eviction notice after it thinks it has been pregnant for 40 weeks...no matter the whole development thing. Not going to lie, that kind of makes me happy.

Although I still think when October 20th comes (and goes) I will find it absolutely surreal. 10 days. Crap.

38.5 WEEKS

2009-10-09T14:28:00.004-04:00

Yeah, so I've been slacking on the belly pics/updates.

Here is my belly pic, taken after a wonderful buffalo chicken tender and milkshake lunch (the lunch of champions, of course)!

And here's the update:

I'm tired...all the time.

I'm swollen...all the time.

I want to wear normal shoes that are not my black flip flops.

I have some cramping and discomfort "down there".

Yes, I'm still pregnant.

Yes, I'm still working.

One Year Down...

2009-10-04T10:00:00.005-04:00

Many, many more to go!

It was only a year ago that I married my best friend. I married the father of my unborn (but nearly born!) son. I married the person that I wake up next to every morning and fall asleep with every night. I married the man that I fell in love with almost immediately, the man I knew was someone special after only a simple "hello".

Today, I am still very happily married to the same person. We have been through a lot this year; bad and good, exciting and devastating. Through it all we have relied on each other. We have laughed together and cried together, thankfully we have had more laughs than cries. They tell you that the first year of your marriage is sometimes the hardest, but I sincerely disagree. Any year can be difficult, and believe me when I say that ours was, but it wasn't because of our marriage. Life is difficult. Sometimes life really really sucks. The only thing that makes it worthwhile is the love that gets you through the rough parts and leads you back to the laughter.

I love you Will.

Dun Duh Da Da...

2009-10-01T08:55:00.002-04:00

That is supposed to be the sound effect for impending doom...

OCTOBER IS HERE.

I am going to have a baby this month. THIS MONTH PEOPLE. Oh mylanta. I just turned my office calendar page and saw the BIG red "DUE DATE" note that I wrote, ummmm, about 7 months ago. WOWSERS. I thought last month when September 1st came and I realized that when asked I could now say "I'm due next month" was big. NOPE. This trumps that. Stranger: "Oh, when are you due?" Me: "End of this month." **Blank Stare**

My little lime is all grown up!

2009-09-29T09:20:00.003-04:00

Do you remember this post? I’ll give you a hint…it was posted way back on March 31st, when I was a mere 11 weeks pregnant. Well, who would have thought that my precious little lime from way back when would really, actually grow into this:

Yet, he has! I am carting around a watermelon every where I go…a watermelon that moves and kicks and hiccups. I am so excited that I now have a full-term baby inside of me. I am not going to lie and say that I in a complete state of relief now, but I do have confidence that everything should be okay. I WILL have a baby (at some point) and he and I will finally get to meet face-to-face. Until then, I will cherish every moment that I have him all to myself…because after he is here I have to learn how to share him with the world (and not to mention his father). I’ve had him for nine months. I’ve loved every movement, nudge and quasi-cuddle we’ve gotten to share. He is my buddy. We sleep together every night; we wake up together, shower together and even laugh together. He is such a strong little boy now, and I know that he is going to do so well once he is here. I just can’t imagine how different it is going to be for me.

I have issues...

2009-09-23T11:46:00.003-04:00

Minor issues (hopefully), but issues all the same.

My blood pressure is on the rise, folks, and it isn't good. I am normally a lower blood pressure kinda gal, like, say 110/70. On Monday I measured at 124/90. The problem that my doctor has with that is that the lower number (diastolic pressure) is going up. That isn't supposed to fluctuate like the top number (systolic pressure) has a tendency to do. Also, because of the the big difference...in only 2 weeks, they are now "watching" me more closely.

So to make matters worse, I had a headache yesterday that wouldn't go away along with some lovely eye issues. I thought about what my doc said and went to the pharmacy to use their blood pressure machine after work. Well, I measured at 130/85. Why does it have to stay up there? I know that these numbers are not typical "hypertension" numbers...but it just scares me because there is an upward trend, and I can seriously feel the difference in my body.

Needless to say, I'm going back in today to see the doctor and try to figure out what is going on and if there is anything that can be done.

Oh, and HI! I'm 36 weeks pregnant now. Yippee.

My Feet Are Swollen.

2009-09-15T16:17:00.001-04:00

It sucks, and they hurt.

And #1 is done...

2009-09-15T13:40:00.003-04:00

I've made my list, and checked it twice...

And you should see it on the right side of the screen now! There are 33 items on that list, of varying importance and arranged in alphabetical order. I will remove them as I go along until **hopefully** I've got 'em all :-)

If you think I am overlooking something that I may not have already completed, let me know! I've probably forgotten many things, that's just a feeling I've got.

35 Days, 35 Million Things to Do

2009-09-15T09:15:00.001-04:00

Today when I woke up it was like any other day. I rolled out of bed (literally, of course) and waddle-walked my way to the shower. Once I was in the shower it hit me…I’ve only got 35 more days (give or take) before I am a MOM. A real life MOM. Like my Mom, only ME. And Will…he’s going to be a DAD. Someone on this planet is going to call my crazy (wonderful) husband “Daddy” (and it won’t EVER be me, I swear). What the heck. This is just beyond my comprehension. Not that we didn’t plan for this, and not that I haven’t had many months to prepare, it is just that now it is really for real.

Truthfully, I’m finally getting really excited. I’ve been excited, sure, but now it is like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (or birth canal whichever you prefer) and instead of jumping directly to the “dark place” that is sometimes in the back of my mind…you know that whole pushing-a-human-out-of-my-lady-bits part, I find myself daydreaming about holding my son. MY SON!!!! Omigod I’m going to have a SON!

You know what this feeling reminds me of…it reminds me of just about this time last year when I was beginning to realize that I was, in fact, getting married in a few weeks. That Will and I were going to be HUSBAND and WIFE. I remember waking up some days and just thinking, “wow, I’m actually going to be married to him…how weird.” Seriously, it was weird. I remember the first time I heard Will refer to me as his wife, and I laughed. I laughed because it was just crazy. And then when I found myself talking about him to co-workers and referred to him as “my husband”. Again, weird.

It isn’t like I didn’t like those words, or that fact that I was getting married. It was just so, strange? I don’t know how to put it any other way. And I’m kinda feeling the same right now. This is strange. My Mom has kids, not me. I’m someone’s daughter, not someone’s mother.

Not to mention the whole “responsibility” thing that goes along with having a child. Will and I are going to be solely responsible for the life of another being. THAT, my friends, is A LOT of responsibility right there. I will forever have someone to worry about other than myself. Not that I don’t already worry about Will and my family on a daily basis, but somehow I have a feeling this is going to be different. We made this child. He is part of me. He shares my blood, and hopefully, according to my husband, my hair. (yes, that is all that Will has said he hopes the baby inherits from me…that is the only trait or characteristic of mine that is desirable.)

Anyway, yeah, I was going somewhere with this post before I completely freaked out and rambled on and on. Besides being somewhat mentally unstable, I am making lists now. If you know me, you know I don’t generally make lists. I just do things. Well, now I’m making lists of things that I need to do. And not just one list. I have several lists, all with many of the same things written on them. So my goal for today is to condense my lists and find a way to post the final version on here so that my progress can be tracked. Let’s just say that is #1 on the list of 35 million things that I’m working on.

Happy Birthday Baby!

2009-09-11T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today is Will's 31st Birthday! Yay~

I love birthdays! I feel bad for Will though, because he always misses out on a real birthday celebration somehow. Last year, we were getting married only 3 weeks after his 30th, and we subsequently had to play it rather low key. This year, I am sick, and very pregnant. Oh well. I still promised to do whatever he wants to do, I'm just secretly hoping that his heart's deepest, darkest desire is to listen to me sneeze and cough from across the couch ;-)

But anyway, here is a picture I captured of my Birthday Boy over our weekend trip to Charleston (yeah, we went away and I never even told any of you!).

A man can dream, right? Too bad I'm younger...

I ain't too proud...

2009-09-10T19:33:00.003-04:00

To post a horrible picture of myself. Before I do it, though, I'll give you some background. I'm sick. I have some sort of virus, and of course, because everyone and their mother is afraide of the Swine flu (yeah yeah...H1N1, whatever) I was not allowed to go to my OB's office yesterday without first going to the Urgent Care to be swabbed for the flu. That cost me $75 for my co-pay, and a lot of time and tears. You just don't tell a pregnant lady that you are worried she may have the killer flu. Pregnant ladies die...sure they take their babies out first, but I don't want to die, even if he gets to live. I want to hold him, not die.

Anyway, so after Urgent Care I was allowed to go to the doctor for my 34 week appointment. So I drive my sickly ass up to the office, without Will, because I sent him on his way to work, it shouldn't be an eventful visit anyway...

Right. Well when I checked in, they told me that I would be required to wear a mask. Great. So everyone would stare at me and inch away from me so that their precious little babies wouldn't be infected with whatever disease I was carrying.

Enough stalling...this is my 34 week belly shot and my poor attempt at winning your sympathies. I give you ME in the examinig room:

This is what I look like today...

2009-08-28T14:51:00.002-04:00

In the bathroom at work.

State of the Womb Address

2009-08-27T11:07:00.001-04:00

I realize that I haven't really taken the time to write anything of consequence here lately. Maybe you could/should cut me some slack since I am gestating a human and all. But I know that I should say more every week then "I am ____ weeks along and this is what my stomach looks like." It's unfortunate, really.

I also don't like to complain, and sometimes I feel like when I write what I'm feeling it could be taken as me complaining about this pregnancy. Let me tell you something, if you did not already know it, I feel extremely blessed to be pregnant. No matter what is happening to my body, my back or my feet...I love this baby and everything that comes along with him. After losing a baby I told myself that I would NEVER ever take pregnancy for granted.

So all of this being said, here is what is going on!

1. I am 32 weeks pregnant. (I had to sneak this in here somewhere)

2. I have gained 20 pounds so far. My doctor says that I “could stand” to gain ten more before the end. Whatever, I have no comment about this.

3. The baby is measuring (per my doctor feeling my belly and measuring it) right on track. Although, she did admit that if she saw me on the street she would not believe that I was 32 weeks pregnant. Did I mention that I like this woman? Yeah, I do!

4. The nursery is finished, well at least it is finished enough to house an infant. I still need to hang the pictures and hopefully persuade my husband to make a bookshelf.

5. Little William has become quite the acrobat. He loves to use the right side of my uterus as a trampoline to catapult himself to the other side of my uterus. It is quite a site from the outside, and feels incredibly weird from the inside.

6. He is head down, and had better stay that way if he knows what is good for him!

7. I had been experiencing a great deal of back pain, and even had to go to a physical therapist. However, it seems that he has now decided to remove himself from my spine and give my sciatic nerve a rest! I love you, child.

8. I think that I have started to get that “nesting” instinct. I am constantly thinking about our house and what needs to be done and it is almost impossible for me to not want to move something or put something together when I am home.

So I know that I should include pictures, but I don’t have any downloaded off of my camera, and it is dead. I promise I will work on that :-)

This makes me want him to come NOW!!!

2009-08-24T10:19:00.003-04:00

This picture (taken with my cell phone so please excuse the quality) makes me want my little man soooooo bad! I can't wait to take a picture like this of Will and our son!!!

Powerball

2009-08-20T07:58:00.001-04:00

Some lucky South Carolinian won the Powerball jackpot...ONE PERSON! $159.9 Million. And, no...it wasn't me.

So sad. We could use the money :-)

Comment of the Day

2009-08-18T12:10:00.002-04:00

And the winner goes to...(drumroll, please)...

The Office Mailman!!!

The comment: (he walks into my office as I happen to be sitting up front at the empty reception desk) "Wow, Amy, have you put on some weight?"

My reply: "Ummmm, {awkward silence} I guess so...I am expecting a child in two months."

I mean I'm past the "is she or is she not pregnant" point here folks. I'm OBVIOUSLY with child. There is NO denying it. But really, did I need to be reminded that I have, in fact, gained weight? NO.

And so, now it is lunchtime and I seriously just lost my appetite.

Don't worry...I have no intention of starving myself or my child over a frivolous comment like this.

Can you spot all the fun items in this picture?

2009-08-13T20:38:00.003-04:00

I'll give you some hints:

1. It's my 30 week (YES THIRTY) belly shot.
2. I'm celebrating the start of the Raven's season by wearing my Ray Ray jersey (or trying to fit into it...)
3. I'm showing off the newest addition to our nursery!
4. I am barefoot...and the other part of why that is fun is obvious if you glance up from my feet.

Belly Shot and Nursery Progress

2009-08-04T20:38:00.009-04:00

29 Weeks...

And the nursery is coming right along! We really just need to get our dresser and chest of drawers, and then put the decorations up on the walls. I am reluctant to put anything on the walls until I know for sure where the big furniture will go. I am also hoping to get a bookshelf of some sort. If the little man is anything like his parents, he will have quite a book collection!

So here are some pictures of the progress we have made so far:

View from the door:
The Crib:
The Glider:
A close up of the crib:
And of some of the decorative elements:

28 Weeks and Nursery Progress! Yay!

2009-07-27T20:53:00.005-04:00

I was just up on the second level of our house...moseying around, when I walked into this:

And it immediately made me think about this:

Of course, after I thought about that I had no choice but to proceed directly to the nearest mirror, to see this:

The best part about all of these things, is that they are all still a work in progress...but they are growing by the day!

It's the little things.

2009-07-23T10:43:00.004-04:00

And by that, I mean the little kicks, nudges, rolls and hiccups. To me, these things are the most significant and special part of this pregnancy. They remind me that my little man is alive and well in there, and that he is *hopefully* enjoying his stay at the Uterus Hotel. His little kicks and punches are so powerful, in an emotional way, that one can easily remedy any mood that I am in.

I especially treasure the time we spend together lying in bed at night. This is when he seems to be the most active, probably because that is when I am the most relaxed, and he has more room to play. He does barrel rolls and karate kicks and judo chops. It is so much fun. Although sometimes he can make me jump with his intense uterine training exercises...I don't mind one bit. To me, I am experiencing something that no one else is able to. Sure, you can feel and see his movements from outside of my body now. But...I'm the only one that can feel them both ways. I am the only one that knows EXACTLY when he is up, or when he is taking a nap, or when he is really having a good time in there. I know his schedule, and he probably knows mine.

I guess I'm only beginning to realize the bond that a mother has with her child. I know it will only grow stronger with time, and that when I get to actually hold him in my arms and look into his eyes these little kicks will only seem like a memory to me. However, for now, my little man reserves more and more space in my heart with every single movement he makes.

Did You Buy This???

2009-07-22T08:00:00.003-04:00

We received a very nice gift last night...the Evenflo Exersaucer.

However, there was no packing slip or gift slip or card. SOOOOOO...I don't know who sent it to us. This makes me very sad. I want to know, not to mention I want to thank this kind and generous gift giver!

So, maybe, if you happen to read this blog and you happen to be the person that sent this gift, could you email me or make a comment and let me know?

Thanks :-)

edit: I now know who the gift givers are...my generous friends Leslie and Dawn! Yay :-)

99 Days

2009-07-13T11:40:00.002-04:00

Well, I've made it to double digits! There are only 99 days left until Mr. William Thomas' due date :-)

So I celebrated by going to the doctor this morning. Everything looks fine, apparently, and they can tell this by pricking my finger and collecting my urine...along with taking my weight. My iron is good, and this is impressive according to my doctor because she says it normally starts to tank around this point. I have gained an additional 6 (yes 6 in one month) pounds, so I'm up to 14 total. I, of course, cringed at that number...but my doctor said that I am doing good and the baby is going through a growth spurt right now anyway so it is natural to gain more weight.

I have an appointment in two weeks for my O'Sullivan test to determine whether or not I'm at risk for or have already developed gestational diabetes. Please PRAY that I pass this test. I like sugar, and so does my baby. I think it is safe to say that I will turn into a VERY moody pregnant lady if they take away sugar. In the mean time I will be eating every carbohydrate in my path just in case.

I am planning on Will taking my picture tomorrow...for a 26 week belly shot, and I'll put that one up :-)

Beautiful.

2009-07-09T20:49:00.002-04:00

Just a little shot I captured of my Sister-in-law this past weekend just before she said her vows!

Sticks, People, STICKS!!!!

2009-07-08T16:54:00.003-04:00

People Magazine FAIL.

Not "racquets" thankyouverymuch. If you are going to try to pretend you know something about a sport, chose the right terminology for the instrument that is used to play it. Lacrosse is NOT played with a raquet.

I haven't forgotten you.

2009-06-26T08:00:00.001-04:00

I'll never forget you. You were my first baby. You helped me grow; you taught me so much about myself and your father. You taught me that I can love someone that I never met more than I ever thought possible. You taught me that I am stronger than I ever knew, or gave myself credit for.

You changed the way I look at life, and the way I deal with death. You made me realize exactly how much I wanted to be a mother. You will ALWAYS be the best souvenir we could have ever brought home from our honeymoon.

There is that saying about what a difference a day makes...well I like my version better. What a difference 9 weeks make. You were only a part of me for such a little time but you'll always be a part of my heart. There is a piece of it that will never belong to anyone else.

Today is the day you should have been making your grand entrance into this world and into the hearts of so many others. Today you should have met your grandparents. Today I should have gone from mommy-to-be to just mommy. The piece of my heart that belongs to you aches today knowing that what should have been will never be for you.

Today is bittersweet. When I lost you I thought nothing could make it better. And although nothing will EVER replace you...your brother has made it better. As I sit here crying and trying to tell you how I feel, his little kicks and flips remind me that life goes on. Losing you has made me appreciate even more every single day that I get to spend with your brother, and every single day that I got to spend with you. A child really is a miracle, a fragile miracle that should never be taken for granted.

I love you with all my heart and promise to never forget you.

Attack of the Killer Charlie Horses

2009-06-25T10:53:00.002-04:00

I am not one to complain about what is happening or will possibly happen to my body over the course of this pregnancy. I consider myself lucky to be hosting my little "parasite" (said in the most lovingly way possible). So I'm not complaining, just telling a little story about how much I am NOT in control of my own body anymore.

I played sports in high school...so I am used to aching, cramping muscles. But back in the good ole days, there was a reason for those aches and cramps...miles of running and physical torture. I am doing neither these days so when I awoke 2 nights ago in absolute AGONY it was a shock. It was also a shock to poor Will...who I think is one middle-of-the-night scream away from relocating bedrooms. So anyway, I wake up crying and yelling and reaching for my right calf (which of course, I cannot reach while in a laying down position). Will shoots up from his restful sleep all worried about whatever has got me in so much pain. Side note: Will also wakes up each time I go to the bathroom and almost anytime I make a strange noise. Should make for an interesting time once there is an infant in our room as well! So I start panting and pointing at my leg, which I cannot straighten because of the severe cramp. Will sits up and starts to rub my muscle to try to get it to relax, but it won't! So I roll out of bed and try to walk it out. Not helping.

Now the cramp has left my calf muscle but has moved onto some smaller muscle on the outside of my leg that I don't even know the name of. Oh JOY! This is exactly where I have a metal plate and 7 screws. I would classify this part of my leg as "delicate" and I have always somewhat favored it since I broke it back in college. Now this seriously hurts. So I continue to walk around the bedroom, the bathroom, and eventually downstairs to the kitchen. I get to a point where I think the cramp is going away, so I get back into bed. NOPE! Cramp from hell is back. So Will tries to rub it again, but this time he is rubbing the outside of my leg that is tender and gives me the creeps to have any amount of direct pressure on. So somehow I got through the night, but when I wake up the next morning I have a limp. Great.

So I still have a slight limp because of the damage from that severe cramp, and I have gotten a cramp in one leg or the other each night since...but never as bad as the first. I swear these things are weird. So now I've resorted to eating a banana and downing a glass of milk before I go to bed each night to possibly ward off any of the mid-sleep terror cramps. We'll see how that works.

Maryland Bound!

2009-06-18T08:59:00.002-04:00

So, we are going home this weekend! I am so excited, even if it is only for about 36 hours...and it will take at least 8 to get there and another 8 to get back. We are leaving at noon tomorrow, so that hopefully we can beat some traffic (probably not) and get there at a decent time. The whole reason for our trip is so that Will can go to a bachelor party, which means he won't get to see much of the family, only a lot of naked women and bar stools, I'm sure.

I miss my family, my friends and pretty much the general area. I'm excited to see everyone...and for everyone to see my newest addition (you know...the large mass protruding from my midsection!). I'm hoping that people will get to feel him kicking, I can certainly feel it from the outside now, although Will still has not been able to. I think it is mostly poor timing to blame for that though!

Update from the Doctor---growth is on target (my uterus is now about 2 cm above my belly button) and I'm measuring as I should. His heart was beating at 152 bpm, and sounded glorious, as usual! Also, I bit the bullet and asked exactly how much weight I've gained during this pregnancy so far...and the answer wasn't as bad as I had expected. Only 8 pounds! Now, I know that I gained weight after our wedding and during my first pregnancy that I never got rid of (thanks to my penchant for eating my feelings)...so I am fully aware of the fact that I will have more weight in the end to work off than whatever I end up gaining in the next 18 weeks. But I'm happy that my Doctor is happy with me at this stage :-) And any weight that I gain is WELL worth the precious babe that I will get to hold once all is said and done.

And...no belly pic this week! I want the MD peeps to see it in person and don't want to spoil their fun!

What an eventful weekend!

2009-06-08T08:39:00.004-04:00

You know you've grown up when your weekend is ruled by baby shopping...and you love it!

On Saturday we went to two different furniture stores in search of the perfect crib for our little one. You see...we had already selected one, but I changed my mind about it soon after finding out that our little one was going to be a boy! We had settled on a cherry sleigh crib, but I just didn't think it was "masculine" enough...or that it would match our bedding choice. Which, by the way, we received last Thursday (thanks MOM!).

Here is our bedding (Pottery Barn Kids Preston Collection):

And now for our crib! (Stanley Young America 4 Seasons Serenity):

The boy is sold separately...so we'll just have to wait for ours :-)

While we were at it on Saturday, we actually went and registered! It was a little overwhelming, seeing all of the baby stuff and not knowing what you are "supposed" to have...I mean there are at least 20 different types of diapers. DIAPERS people, really. Not to mention the selection of bottles and thermometers and baby tubs and car seats and strollers. Aaaaahhhh!!! But we did our best, and luckily we can edit it online if need be!

So we have now registered at Babies R Us and Pottery Barn Kids. I am not sure if we should register for Target as well. The tough part is that there is at least one item at each store that the others do not carry. This is especially true for PBKids...as we are really only registered there for room decor and matching nursery items to go along with the bedding we've decided on. And Target is much more accessible for many people (including us) so that is why I am thinking we should register there to make it easy down the road for us to get all of the items we will NEED to be ready for our little man.

Speaking of our little man...I have a feeling he isn't so little anymore (well, I mean he is...but not AS little). He full on assaults my bladder and various other neighboring organs on a daily basis. I am not complaining though, because as long as he is kickin' his little heart is tickin' (yes, I'm a tad bit corny). Will still hasn't been lucky enough to feel one of his karate sessions from the outside yet, but I can see my belly jump when he gives me a good swift kick (or punch). Hopefully it shouldn't be too much longer before everyone else can join in on the fun!

In other related news (well not really related to the baby...but related to our lives, really) Will has flown up to Connecticut to help move down his Mom. She has sold the house that she spent the last 31 years in... and is now moving to a neighboring town, about 15 minutes from us. So very soon, well, like TOMORROW, we will no longer be family-less in SC.

Happy "Half-way-to-Birth" day

2009-06-02T14:13:00.002-04:00

I know that by no means will this baby "pop" out of me on October 20th...but a girl can dream, right? Either way, I am 20...yes 20 weeks pregnant today.

Wooo hoo. I'm so proud of my little boy for hanging in there with me...and for allowing me to enjoy myself (for the most part). I read today that his taste buds are now developed, and that studies have shown that what he tastes in utero is what he will like when he joins us. Hmmmm, so does that mean poor William is going to crave orange sherbet and brownies and cherry snowballs?

Well, don't most kids crave those things anyway? I'm just doing him a favor. You know I don't like those things normally.

Oh, and one more thing...

2009-05-28T08:47:00.002-04:00

that is all!

Rain, Rain GO AWAY!!!

2009-05-28T08:09:00.002-04:00

You know, normally rain doesn't really bother me that much. But when it has rained, and I mean RAINED every single day for a week...I start to get annoyed. I don't live in Seattle, and I don't want to. I want sunshine...not just this muggy, sticky excuse for weather.

And the best part is that usually the best and most fierce rain is saved for EXACTLY when I need to drive home from work. It is like the sky opens up and dumps a bucket of rain right on my car. Every day. I don't mind driving in the rain...but apparently many of the people in this area have a serious problem with it, and forget all driving skills the moment a rain drop hits the windshield. You can only imagine the traffic. So much fun!

In other news, not related to the forces of nature that I cannot control...it is Thursday, and I like it. We may possibly be enjoying some Minor League ball this evening (of course depending on the weather)! Also, depending on the weather, I may be sporting my ever-so-attractive maternity bathing suit this weekend. Will can't hardly wait.

Its all rainbows and bellys here

2009-05-26T18:16:00.005-04:00

I give you rainbows (as seen yesterday over the Charlotte skies):

And 19 week baby belly (reluctantly):

And even more reluctantly...a bare belly shot. My first.

Will took these pictures, although he didn't quite understand why. He said, and I quote, "you don't even look pregnant." Great, so I'm just fat. He did clarify, however, that the shirt I am wearing today hides my bump...it is "billowy" so I guess he thinks that it would look the same on a non-pregnant Amy. Whatev.

I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine

2009-05-21T11:26:00.002-04:00

Let me introduce you to William Thomas, my Squishy:

He is all BOY!!!! And he loves to snuggle with his Momma :-) Can't wait to meet my little man.

Oh, and besides the outdoor plumbing...he has a beautiful 4-chamber heart, 10 little toes, a 3 vessel umbilical cord, a beautiful brain (to torment me with at a later date) and he weighs half a pound! I knew my baby was perfect!

***10 points if you know what movie the title of this post references!***

Christmas in May

2009-05-20T12:24:00.003-04:00

So if you know me...you know that I ADORE holidays. Christmas and my birthday (yes I consider it a holiday) being my favorites. Well, today is the equivalent to Christmas Eve. I don't know how I am sitting here at my desk doing work...errr typing this non work related blog. I don't know how I will make it through the night, although knowing that I will arrive home to my Grandparents is another reason why today seems to be the longest.day.ever.

I am excited that tonight after I get home my evening will fly because I will be enjoying my company and their excitement about our little babe. However, once it is bedtime I know (from experience) that I will have a hard time falling asleep. Still, to this day, I have difficulty sleeping on the eve of major holidays or special events or vacations or anything that I have been looking forward to. Tomorrow is SUCH a big deal. Not only will we get to see our little baby again, but we will hopefully be able to take a gander below the belt to see what I'm incubating! Also, this is the anatomy scan, so the tech will examine all of the precious little pieces of the babe to make sure all is well. I am concentrating on the excitement of the event instead of allowing myself to even begin to think about the "what ifs" and the possibility of something, anything, not being "perfect." Because, like all moms...I already know my baby is PERFECT!

Well I will update tomorrow with the big news...hopefully!

Lily, Lilly, or Lillian

2009-05-11T11:40:00.002-04:00

I dunno. *IF* we are graced with a girl...I am seriously leaning towards one of the above names. They all pretty much boil down to the same thing, but I want to do it right! It is a big deal naming someone. MUCH more important than a pet or a stuffed toy. I mean this is the first thing you give to your child (well, besides life)...a name. Hmphf. I know what I'll call her, no matter what the birth certificate says.

Oh, and btw, middle name is Claire.

I don't like to work

2009-05-04T16:54:00.001-04:00

...that is all.

15 Week F.A.Q.s

2009-04-28T09:17:00.003-04:00

I don't do the fruit every week (nor have I even been good about POSTING every week) but I couldn't resist today...I'm incubating an orange!Okay...enough with the interesting mental pictures...I think I will do a little something fun today and answer on this blog the questions that I am REPEATEDLY asked in person:

Are you having a boy or a girl? Well, one or the other, I assume. However, I have no idea, yet.

What do you THINK you are having? Either a boy or a girl, hopefully.

Are you finding out the sex? Yup. May 21st at 8:00 am. Can't wait!

What do you want to have? A healthy baby. Yes, this is the typical response that you will get from someone once they have actually become pregnant. There is a reason for that...especially for someone that has experienced a loss. I just want a 100% for real, in my arms, crying like a banshee BABY.

Are you worried about getting fat? Are you? Although I am beginning to show, I have gained very little weight since becoming pregnant. There is a BABY in there people. You don't ask someone who isn't pregnant about her weight...so why is it okay now?

Do you miss drinking? Nope. Not in the least. I also don't miss hangovers, puking, or ridiculous drunken phone calls that I don't remember in the morning.

How do you feel? I feel great. Seriously.

Are you scared? Out of my mind. I am scared about the baby making it to term. I am scared about how difficult my labor will be. I am scared that I won't know what the HELL to do with a baby once I actually have one in my arms. I am scared that going back to work after having a baby will be heartbreaking. I am scared about many, many things...

Are you getting excited? More than you could imagine. Just because it is scary...doesn't mean it isn't exciting too! I am excited to watch my belly grow! I am excited to watch Will watch my belly grow! I am excited to find out if we are having a boy or girl! I am excited to decorate the nursery! I am excited to see how my family and friends react to each phase of my pregnancy! I am excited to meet our baby! I am excited to see Will hold our child for the first time! I am excited to see my parents become grandparents!

12 Weeks and going STRONG

2009-04-09T08:46:00.004-04:00

I have been holding my breath since February 10th. Yesterday I was finally able to relax and breathe a little easier. Now, granted, I HAVE actually been breathing...but I'd call it "shallow" at best.

This:

is why I can breathe again!

I have never been so relieved in my entire life. I will admit that I have been driving poor Will crazy with all of my worrying. But, it isn't constant. I swear that it would just creep up on me...and all of sudden I was afraid of everything that was (or was not) going on inside of me. It was enough to drive me crazy...so I'm sure Will was going nuts.

Let me try to explain it to you in terms that most people will probably understand. This is how being pregnant after a miscarriage feels: Like the SECOND time you have sex. I mean when you are a virgin and you think about "doing it" it is all happy heart pitter-patters and lovey dovey romance novel. Then, you "do it" and it is more guts than glory. It DOESN'T feel good and you are in shock that ANYONE would romanticize it. You bleed, you cry, and maybe even feel a bit awkward afterwards.

Well folks, that is EXACTLY how my first experience with pregnancy went. All guts...no glory. Lots of blood, many tears, and plenty of awkward "oh, no I'm not pregnant anymore, thanks" conversations.

But then, I think in part because of human nature, you get back on the horse (pun intended) and do it all over again. It is scary, you aren't sure if it will turn out the way it did the first time, or if it does turn out that way again if you will EVER be able to try this crazy act all over again. So, well, of course you "do it" again...and the second time is OH SO MUCH BETTER. You don't have any of the same "issues" and none of the complications afterwards. It is like you were made to do just that. And, well...you were! (among other things, of course)

So, well...if you have followed my lengthy and somewhat convoluted mess of an analogy...you should get it now. Maybe. If not, well maybe you're still a virgin, or some freak of nature (masochist) that enjoyed the torture of you're first sexual exploit.

I wouldn't call myself "outdoorsy"

2009-04-06T19:27:00.009-04:00

But I must say...when I really put some effort into it, I can play the part (with a little...errr LOT of help from the man).

Let me give you an idea of what we were working with out in our lovely clay-ridden, drought molested yard:

EXHIBIT A: Our poor neglected planter
EXHIBIT B: A small helpless tree ravaged by the cruel reality of this world

Needless to say, our gardening skills had come into question within various neighborhood circles. If there is one thing I have learned about the "south" it is that they take their churches, their gardens and Nascar VERY serious.

So we set out to make our yard right, even if this meant I would be forced to do some dirty work.

Some progress...(note the clay)

Of course, no landscape is complete without a truckload of nasty, dirty mulch!

Proof that I did, indeed, get my hands dirty...and yes, Will did laugh at me when I took this picture.

And finally, the finished product:

Okay, so maybe we won't be featured in an upcoming issue of Better Homes and Gardens...but I'm damn proud of our little plot of land. The thing is that no one really tells you that when you buy a house you get a yard with it...and an expectation from those homeowners around you to keep your landscaping in tip-top condition. I'm not complaining...I'm glad we did it. It was fun to be outside (not so much fun to be on my hands and knees in the dirt) with all of our neighbors walking by with their dogs and babies. We got to meet a lot of the people we didn't get to meet last year, so that was good too! One neighbor even came over and talked for a while and then said, "well I guess I better get going on my yard now that you guys added some new stuff out here." Ha, I guess people really do notice what you do to your yard!

P.S. If you are pregnant and already have an aching back...don't do this. EVER.

2009-03-31T08:32:00.003-04:00

I have a lime inside me. Scary thought, yes? Maybe not for you...but it sure the hell is for me. So every week I get an email that tells me in terms of fruit how large my baby is. I guess a lime isn't really that intimidating when you think of what I will eventually be harboring inside of my poor, helpless uterus. A watermelon? Yup. Just you wait.

So I'm 11 weeks today, and very happy to report that I am now able to hear my sweet baby's heartbeat on my at-home doppler (birthday present to myself). Of course, Will keeps reminding me that I do not need to hear that sound EVERY SINGLE DAY...but I disagree. I love that sound. It is the most significant sound in my universe, one that I will NEVER grow tired of hearing.

In other related news, our family has a very special delivery arriving hopefully in the next few days...and I can't wait! Every time my phone rings (or, well vibrates) I scramble to see if I've gotten a text alerting me that Jill has gone into labor and sweet little Jaxon will be in her arms soon. Can't wait for the new family member!!!

October is my favorite month...

2009-03-23T08:14:00.003-04:00

Good things happen to me in October. Will and I were married in October...and now we will have another family status change in October.

Yes, I am pregnant. Let me introduce you to my baby (circa 3 weeks ago):

Now, I know that it doesn't look like much...but believe me, there is MUCH going on in there. In fact, much more than last time...although I hate to bring that up. It is true, however, that I am indeed further along and have more happy pictures to show for this little babe.

To sum it up:

Baby is due 10/20/09

Baby's little heart is beating like a champ at 171 bpm (beats per minute)

Will and I have never been more excited for something in our entire lives...and yet scared at the same time. Stay with us, baby, and Mommy and Daddy will buy you everything your little (but strong) heart will ever desire!

I have a confession...

2009-03-18T22:03:00.003-04:00

I can't hide it any longer. It is amazing that I've lasted this long...

I watch AMERICAN IDOL.

I'm not sure why, but this season got me. I normally watch the beginning episodes of all the **horrible** try outs...but this season is different. I'm hooked. Because of this, I have a serious complaint. I'm not sure if I should be addressing my complaint with the show, or just the voters.

WHY??? Why would you send Alexis Grace home? Did you not like the song? I mean I know it might be a little bit over some of your 12 year-old heads...but PUHLEASE. I don't get it. She is talented and fun to watch. She has a killer set of vocal chords. I'm not saying she would have gone on to win...but she is AT LEAST in the top ten.

And now I will be brutally honest. Scott? Really? Really you think Scott has American Idol potential? I understand that he wins in terms of sentiment. However, all things being equal, his vocal and performance talent does not compare with the others on that stage. NOT ONE. I know that I may be asking for trouble by voicing my opinion...but since this is MY opinion, and MY blog, too bad. And don't tell me you aren't thinking it anyway. Come on. I understand that he is talented...and far more so than I, but still, he is not the next American Idol.

In conclusion, if you voted for him, I want you to take a simple test. Go on You Tube and search his performance. Next search ANY performance by Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles. Listen to them all, with your eyes closed. Do they compare? No. Do they all have similar disabilities? Yes. You could also do this same little experiment with each of the Top 11...and when all things are equal and all you have is SOUND...he does not compare.

So now that I've thoroughly reserved my front row seat in Hell, I wish you all a good night!

OOPS...

2009-03-17T15:49:00.001-04:00

I have neglected my blog. I know, this is unfortunate. I am sincerely sorry...but I do promise that there is reason behind my lack of update.

I will provide details soon, very soon. Promise, cross my heart...

SNOW DAY!!!

2009-03-02T09:16:00.005-05:00

No matter how old I get (and I am approaching yet another year marker, hint hint) a day free from work and full of snow is just as fun as it ever was!

The thing that gets me about today is, well, that it is March 2nd. It isn't supposed to snow in March! I've always had a problem with March weather. 1--it's my birthday month, and therefore I expect sunshine and flowers. 2--Spring begins in this month and March should act accordingly.

Anyway, so as not to dwell on the negative aspects of a snow day in March, I went outside and took some pictures of our snowy yard. I'm guessing (since the weather man says there is not heat in sight) it will still look this way two days from now when I celebrate 28 glorious years on this earth!

In other related news:

Will threw me a surprise birthday "party" on Friday. I was genuinely shocked when I arrived home from work to a house full of balloons, banners and a few close friends! We even had an ice cream cake full of candles :-)

Alright, well I'm off to enjoy my day!

Your life really isn't as bad as you think.

2009-02-18T07:55:00.003-05:00

I have a good life, actually a great life. I don't complain about it...but if you ever witness me complaining about my life, promptly smack me upside the head.

BUT, I was recently directed to visit a website. A website that highlights for you all of the things that could have gone wrong with your day, but hopefully have not. Enjoy.

This website is overwhelmingly hilarious to me. I guess sometimes you just need some reassurance that even on your worst and darkest of days...someone else has got you beat.

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T11:41:00.003-05:00

I hope that everyone is having a great day!

We don't have much planned for the day...just spending a quiet day at home together. We are going to make crab imperial stuffed lobster tails for dinner :-) so I'm VERY excited about that. Also, we are going to have steamed mussels for a little appetizer before hand. Nice seafood dinner!!!

Tomorrow is Daytona 500 day, so we have invited a few friends over to watch the race and hang out. I must admit that I don't pay much attention to the actual race...I just like to watch the crashes!

You'll Never Guess

2009-02-12T18:13:00.002-05:00

What I saw on my way home from work today.

FLOWERS. ON TREES.

It was marvelous. They were all over the place.

Punxsutawny Phil can kiss my ass.

Follow-up

2009-02-06T10:32:00.003-05:00

Yeah. So you know how in my last post I was feeling better by the end. Well not anymore. It has been about 10 minutes.

I just received a call from a friend/co-worker informing me that I was called, in OPEN COURT, a "bitch that is on a power trip and needs to be knocked down a few rungs."

WOW. Really. WOW

click for a good time

2009-01-29T15:57:00.003-05:00

I promise it is safe, even for work!

I just thought that all, I dunno, 6 of you that read my ramblings might like some better reading, and maybe even some free stuff. I mean it is obvious that you are in need of it if you are reading my lame excuse for a blog these days.

I promise pictures. Soon.

Our President on YouTube

2009-01-28T19:51:00.001-05:00

there. are. no. words.

Would you rather...

2009-01-28T11:30:00.004-05:00

Drive this:

2009 Honda Accord EX-L

Or this:

2008 Chrysler 300 Touring Edition

Please HELP!!!

The Knife Show

2009-01-23T23:39:00.003-05:00

Alright people. There is something wrong with this picture.

Let me set the scene for you: Will and I on the couch drinkin some red vino (mmm mmm good) checkin the channels for something good. We see the "knife show" or Cutlery Corner (I live in SC). We watch the knife show because it is extremely amusing.

So the first knife that we see is here, anything seem wrong with that picture? I'm not saying that having something to commemorate our 44th President is wrong...but a knife? For a redneck? Really? I doubt that will be a top seller.

Happy Tuesday

2009-01-20T09:40:00.003-05:00

So, I haven't been around much in the last few days (or maybe closer to a week). I have pictures to prove that I was not just being lazy...of course they remain in the camera, at the home.

This is what I did over the long weekend:

Drove home to MD
Went to a baby shower
Went out to celebrate my brother's birthday
Went out to "the greatest bar in the history of the world"
Visited my grandparents and met their new puppy
Watched 2 horrible football games
Mourned the end of the Raven's season and the Rex Ryan era
Won $150.00
Drove back to SC
Witnessed my first SC/NC snow!!!

Nothing brightens my day...

2009-01-13T10:02:00.002-05:00

Like a wedding!

I think it is so crazy how much I absofreakinlutely LOVE weddings. I love talking about them, going to them, planning them (yes I'm crazy), or even just reading about them.

So some background. Today started off pretty normal, with a side of sleepiness. I didn't sleep well last night, again. Anyway, so I dragged my butt into work. I was just sitting here doing my job like a good little girl...when I decided to check my email. What a great idea! So I received an email from my sister-in-law with all kinds of exciting wedding talk! It just made my day! Does that make me pathetic?

I don't care. I'm so excited for her/them. She is going to be the most beautiful bride EVER and I already can't wait.

P.S. If you happen to read this, CONGRATULATIONS Mary and Chris!!!

Nightmare

2009-01-08T10:46:00.002-05:00

I had a nightmare last night about pelicans and babies shooting fire out of their mouths whilst swimming in the ocean. Wow. I also dreamt somewhere before waking about being chased by The Joker (the creepy Heath Ledger version) through an underground tunnel system that I couldn't find my way out of.

Something is wrong with me, maybe? I even woke up after The Joker dream and looked around our room at the shadows to make sure none of them were moving or watching me. I have a very vivid imagination, and when it takes over my dreams I can certainly have some strange ones!

I've never heard of this before

2009-01-07T12:57:00.003-05:00

I received ANOTHER bill yesterday, this one for just under $600.00. The statement date on the bill is 1/1/09 (total crap) and the due date is 1/15/09. I mean even credit card companies give you a month to pay. Wow. I'm not saying we can't pay it...I'm just saying that giving someone (anyone) one week to remit several hundred dollars is kinda pushing it.

The after-holiday hell work

2009-01-05T16:21:00.003-05:00

Today sucked, well actually it is still sucking. Just because everyone had off work for "the holidays" doesn't mean that you can come back today and make my life a living hell. I was here diligently working each and every day that you took off (besides the mandated days off). Those days sucked too...but not hardly as much as today. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

These are a few of my favorite things...

2009-01-02T13:34:00.007-05:00

I must have been a VERY good girl in 2008. I realized today that I haven't shared anything at all about how our Christmas went. Well, it was good. We spent it in our new home, and we were able to enjoy eachother and the serenity of having nowhere that we HAD to go. Not that we didn't miss our family VERY, very much...but it was just nice to get some rest and relax a little.

So, I'm gonna brag a bit. Santa likes me, and I'm a very lucky girl. I was so shocked when I unwrapped this:

and then shortly after, I unwrapped this too:

The best part about the laptop was that I never even mentioned wanting/needing one. I have a desktop, and it is great...but I really do hate having to go up and sit in our office alone when I want to visit the internets. Aaaaah, I have the best husband. He told me that he got it for me because "he believes in me and in my dream to publish a book." I cried. Yes, I cried because I am a geek and because I like it when people say nice things to me.

Additionally, Santa brought a special package that he picked up in Arizona:

Needless to say, I think the electric bill is going to be a tad bit higher this month!

And, although I couldn't find a picture to illustrate it, I received an AWESOME Juicy bag from my sister-in-law (among other things). But I am looking at it right now and I am in love. Sometimes I think I have died and gone to heaven. But then I wake up and there is still dirty laundry in the basket...so I know I'm still here.

Goodbye 2008

2008-12-31T23:59:00.001-05:00

Hello 2009!!!

Happy New Year to all. My wish for you:

Lots of cheer and little fear,
Many smiles and safely travelled miles,
Plenty of kisses from the misters and misses.

It is hard for me to not spend a small amount of time reflecting on 2008; it was a big year for me. We bought our first home and moved 500 miles away from everyone we know and love. I got a job, and planned a wedding (with help, thank you all). I married the love of my life and my best friend at the wedding of my dreams. We went on an amazing honeymoon. We were blessed with the hope of a child, and learned and grew from the loss of that hope. We celebrated our first holidays in our home and away from our families, and we did it without a tear.

I learned more about myself in the past year than any other year of my life. I learned that I can do *almost* anything I choose to put my effort into, and that some things that I put all of my effort into are just not meant to be and cannot be controlled. I learned that I am strong, and capable of feeling immense pain but not letting it break me. I learned that I was never telling a lie when I'd claim to be an optimist. I learned that leaning on other people is okay, and healthy. I learned that depending on someone else to do something that you asked them to do is important and necessary. I learned that even though I claim to be a "crier," I can control my emotions in front of a crowd.

Finally, I learned that just because losing someone that you love hurts more than anything else, it is always better to have loved.

I would do 2008 all over again in a heartbeat...but I don't live in the past, I live for the future.

Talk to ya again next year!

PSA

2008-12-29T10:39:00.002-05:00

Public Service Announcement:

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT send a card to someone telling them how excited you are about their baby...when they miscarried said baby over a month ago.

That is what I would call a day late and a dollar short.

::slaps own hand::

2008-12-27T17:58:00.004-05:00

I've been a baaaaaaaaad blogger. I don't know where the time went...but it sure has been a while. Guess it has something to do with it being "the holidays" and all.

Speaking of "the holidays". It sure does piss me off when people wish me "happy holidays". I know that they are being kind...and when my first response should be "and to you as well," I usually find myself fighting back the urge to say, "Merry Christmas you politically correct idiot". Does this make me insensitive? Maybe. Do I care? Nope. I realize that not everyone celebrates the same "holidays" that I do. I understand that somewhere along the way it became offensive to wish someone a Merry Christmas unless you were sure that they were of the same religious beliefs as you are. Come on people...not everything should be so complicated. I went to school with many Jewish folk, and when December came around, I said "Happy Hanukkah" to them and they replied "Merry Christmas", it was great. You know what happened when I said "Merry Christmas" to someone that didn't celebrate that particular holiday? They'd say, "Thank you, I celebrate [insert various holiday here], but you have a very Merry Christmas." Easy as pie.

Rant over.

I feel the urge at this point to say that this blog reflects my sentiments and not those of anyone else that I am connected with. HA.

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Christmastime

2008-12-17T08:45:00.002-05:00

I love Christmas. Serious. Ask anyone who knows me and they will confirm, 'tis true! However, this year Christmas just ain't doin' it for me. I dunno. Maybe everyone has the right to go Scrooge every once in a while, but for me this is WEIRD.

I still like the lights, and the decorations, and the nice fresh REAL tree. I still like the idea of waking up and walking downstairs to see all of my presents that Will cannot place under the tree until the last possible moment because he knows how I am ALL TOO WELL. I have made peace with the fact that we are not going to be seeing any family on Christmas this year. I am even kind of happy that I won't be racing around to buy all of the gifts and then driving hundreds of miles to race around some more. Again, I dunno. Something is just off this year.

Any guesses?

However, I still need to buy gifts (0f course I haven't finished my shopping yet) and I need some help!

I am pretty sure this gift could take care of all of my needs:

I mean, wouldn't everyone want a SNUGGIE??? It is perfect. You know you all like to curl up on the couch with a blanket...why not a snuggie? I totally know everyone on my gift list will LOVE it. So that's it. I'm DONE :-)

I've got an idea for a Mastercard commercial...

2008-12-16T13:28:00.002-05:00

Outpatient Hospital: $5,793.46

Anethesiologist: $728.00

Ob/Gyn: $1,153.00

Pathology Lab: $178.10

Knowing that a 14 year-old without insurance can get the same operation for FREE:

PRICELESS

It's all good in the hood!

2008-12-11T08:59:00.002-05:00

So the follow-up appointment was yesterday. It went something like this:

Check-in with receptionist, explain that I have finally received my updated insurance card with my married name. She tells us to take a seat. Approximately 20 minutes later (after the previously full waiting room was empty) I am called. They call me "Ms. ::pause:: Amy?" because my new name is just not something they are willing to attempt.*

We go back, I pee in a cup (I'm getting better at this) and have my blood pressure and weight checked (we are NOT going to discuss that second item just yet). She shows me to my room and tells me to hike up my skirt and sit on the table (I have learned that certain clothing items are more convenient for gyno offices) and that she will find my husband and show him into the room. So Will gets into the room and we wait for the doc. After about 10 minutes he and a nurse come in. He shakes Will's hand. Hmm, I guess that is appropriate before you "examine" a man's wife. So I love my doctor because he doesn't mess around. He is in and out in about 3 seconds flat. He tells me to get dressed (not much to that) and meet him in his office. Will comments about the speed at which this whole event occurs. I laugh at him.

We move to the office, which is nice because it is always awkward talking to a stranger without clothes on. He asks if we would actually like to get pregnant, since the first kid was a product of drunken honeymoon-ness. Will actually surprises me by speaking up even faster than I did...and says "yes". Of course I knew that we agree on this point, but he usually lets me do the talking at these appointments. So the doctor says we are cool, no more "pelvic rest" and that he'll see me when we get the deed done.

This was certainly not what I was expecting. There was no medical discussion. The word miscarriage was not even used once. I asked if there was anything at all wrong from before...but he said that everything was "normal" and there is no need to worry.

* on a side note, our last name strikes fear into people's voices. People actually laugh when I finish spelling it...or instead of attempting to say it, they begin to spell it for me, so that I know that they know who I am, but just not how to pronounce my last name.

2008-12-09T13:38:00.002-05:00

Woot! 2 people like me :-)

The pink people eater

2008-12-04T12:56:00.002-05:00

HOLY VA JAY JAY BATMAN!?!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/540076210.html

I now know for sure what to ask Santa for...

I'm not bitter...

2008-12-04T10:17:00.002-05:00

Not normally, at least. But the emotion crept up inside of me today when I saw a FB profile pic of an ultrasound and many congratulations posts. I'm sorry, really, really sorry for the feeling. I am not at all "that" person. But today, I suppose I am. I'm Bitter Betty and I totally hate it.

I guess maybe I'm better at being happy for people that I am close to, I don't know how...but I think it makes me feel better to know that I will get to hold their little babies and cry real tears of joy (I promise they will be JOY). You know what else I think might have something to do with it...I think maybe I'm cool with the people who were knocked up prior to me, but now I'm just having a hard time dealing with the newly knocks. Great. So I'm bitter AND jealous. Woot! Always wanted to be that girl!

Hooray for Wedding pics!!!

2008-12-03T13:03:00.001-05:00

FINALLY!!!!

I shall put some up for show and tell when I receive them in their digital form :-)

Just a quick one to gloat....

2008-11-26T14:12:00.002-05:00

http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2008/11/26/the-importance-of-being-thankful/

Yup...I was right.

Happy Turkey Day

2008-11-26T08:07:00.003-05:00

In the spirit of the holiday (that is not my favorite, but I do enjoy) I am going to do an exercise that I am pretty sure they start in elementary school:

What I am thankful for (in no particular order):

My sanity. I haven't lost it yet!!! (don't listen to Will...I'm not REALLY crazy)
My job. Yes, you read that right...and YES, number one is still true. I am not thankful that I HAVE to work, but that I am ABLE to work since I am not independently wealthy.
My husband. He feeds me and loves me no matter what :-)
My friends and family. They make me laugh and come to visit me whenever they can (hint, hint!).
My fingernails. I have nice strong fingernails and I like them!
Best Buy. I may or may not still be thankful for this one in two days if they do not have the TV I want at the price I need :-)
Heat. Until about 4 days ago I thought that this amenity was pretty much a given. That is until I found out that two of our good friends are renting a house that DOES NOT yet have heat. IT IS COLD OUTSIDE PEOPLE!!! I mean the people living in the projects on welfare have heat. DAMN.
The healthy pregnancies of my family members. This may seem like a strange one...but I am truly thankful that the other lucky ladies in my fam are having happy and healthy pregnancies and that we will soon have 2 little baby boys to play with.

Anyway, so the best part of Thanksgiving for me...is that it starts off the Christmas season!!!

2008-11-24T10:40:00.003-05:00

So I've had a lot to think about over these past few days. Not to say that I haven't been busy, because I have been. And not to say that I haven't been trying to enjoy whatever I can whenever I can...because I have been. I spent most of the weekend around friends, and most importantly around people that will gladly cry or laugh with me, whichever I prefer.

I prefer laughter. I've always been the person that points out other people's pessimistic qualities and finds fault in them. I can't stand to be around someone that dwells on the negative. It actually upsets me when someone that I care about is upset, or if someone that I care about has something personal happening that I cannot help with. When I tell someone that "I feel your pain," I actually mean it.

Some people that have a less-than-sunny outlook on life have issues dealing with my optimism. I've been told that I need to come back down to reality, or that I need to realize that idealism will just hurt me in the end. Well, you know what? I'm pretty sure that the last few days were just about as real as they come. You know what else? I'm still the same person.

I can't say that the hurt is over...but I have laughed, and I still smile. How could I not? How could I turn into THAT person? I can't imagine me as a perpetually sad sourpuss, just waiting for the sky to fall. Nope. So let's all just do ourselves a favor and skip right over the sad faces and "how are you doings". Make me laugh. Say something funny, or stupid, or deliciously inappropriate. Believe me, I can handle it.

Laughter is the best medicine and love is the most powerful antidote.

I wasn't worried...

2008-11-20T02:50:00.003-05:00

I was right.

Turns out I wasn't just being a crazy pregnant lady. Turns out my intuition is just as good as I always knew it was.

Yes, I am up at 3 in the morning. I just can't sleep. Tomorrow (or today really) I have to face the harsh reality that is losing an early pregnancy. Even as I type it, it just seems so wrong to say. I really did try hard to stay emotionally detached from the little person growing inside of me. I told myself, and anyone who would listen, that I just wanted to be sure...I just wanted some sort of confirmation that what was lingering in the back of my mind was just some sort of delusion. What I got instead was a confirmation of my worst fears.

Our baby didn't make it. Or, rather, it never had a chance. We sat and watched that cold black monitor while the technician searched for a little tiny baby, or even a sign such as a heartbeat. She showed us all of the "eggs in my basket," her term for the eggs waiting their turn inside of my "very healthy looking" ovaries. She showed us a "larger than normal" yolk sac. A yolk sac that had grown since the last ultrasound. But then she never found a heartbeat or the tiny little piece of hope I was hoping for.

The egg was fertilized, it just never grew into an embryo. I was told (and I've read) that these things happen when there are abnormalities in the chromosomes/genetic makeup of the sperm/egg. I have been told, over and over again, that when something like this happens it is truly for the best...nature and/or God's way of ensuring that only the strong survive.

I cried, of course, and I'm still crying. It is a cruel reality that is even harder to deal with when your hormones are so out of whack. I have cried about much less over the past few weeks, but this time I mean it. You know, I just thought it was slightly morbid how I often seemed to find my way to the blogs that always involved some sort of loss. The ones where the writer had an early miscarriage, or a late-term miscarriage or still-birth. It didn't bother me to read them, it didn't worry me. I guess that was just my subconscious trying to prepare me for this, and I'm glad for it. Not that I would consider myself prepared...just reassured.

I don't know why this happened, and I never will. I only know that I did my best, and that is all I've ever tried to do. I pride myself in never failing at something that I set out to accomplish. I've met all of my life's goals (for this stage in my life), either the way I intended, or by some other means. Well I'm going to put this in that second category. Let's just call this research. I'm good at that.

Next time (and there will be a next time) I will be prepared. I will be less afraid of the unknown, and more aware of myself. I will trust my intuition. I will know that when someone says "everything will be alright" they may not mean it will be alright the way that you want it to be alright, but instead that you will deal with anything you need to deal with and move on from that.

I will move on. But before I do, I will remember the tiny little piece of something that we saw on the screen today for the last time. My Mom said from the very beginning that it was a girl. I never gave her, or anyone else, the satisfaction of knowing that I felt that it was a little girl too. So since I am going to trust my intuition from now on (instead of stubbornly ignoring it) I am going to say goodbye to her. I also never told anyone that I was considering bypassing my favorite name for one that I thought to be more appropriate. Maya. She was conceived in the Riviera Maya...and I thought it'd make a good story afterwards.

So, goodbye Maya. We loved you while we could, and I loved you more than I ever thought possible.

I'm a big girl now!

2008-11-12T16:05:00.003-05:00

Alright people, all cutesy songs aside. I am about to broach a subject that I am unsure about how to feel. I have never been, as some people might say, "small" chested. That being said, I have also never really paid much attention to my "girls", if you will.

This all changed, however, about 4 days ago.

Picture this: Amy lounging on the couch watching whatever Will had on the TV at the moment. Amy is also dogsitting at the moment, and has a little doggy running around the house. Said doggy, Diamond, decides that Amy's chest looks like THE place she wants to be.

You all know what happens next. Diamond goes from the floor to my chest in two great leaps, culminating in a squeal of pain from deep within my chest. What is going on here??? So I look down to see if maybe she has punctured a breast and notice something completely new and totally unsuspected: a double boob. OUCH this hurts (both literally and figuratively). I have fought long and hard against the double boob. I have spent WAY too much in Victoria's Secret on every different size and shape bra to have this happening. What did I do to deserve this???

Well, apparently I did the nasty with my hubby at just the right time and am paying the consequences.

So there it is. I'm a D. And I spent my money this time at my local Target.

Crazy Pregnant Lady

2008-11-07T08:46:00.002-05:00

I don't have anything profound to say. All that I can say is that I have never before felt so fragile in my life. I will give you some indications of my fragility:

I cry. A LOT. About everything. I cried myself to sleep the other night because I didn't think that Will loved me anymore (yeah, I know that he loves me very much). I cried last night when an elderly woman died on Grey's. I cried again last night when the Terps lost to Va Tech (this is not my normal response to a sporting event, unless I am severely intoxicated, which, btw, I was not). I cry almost every morning on the way to work because of some song that I hear on the radio.
I worry about everything. I worry that I'm not eating the right things, that I'm not eating enough or that I'm eating too much. I worry every single time my belly rumbles. I worry that I'm going to lose the baby. I worry that I'm going to lose Will to some terrible tragedy and have to raise our family on my own. I worry that my grandparents will get sick and never meet the baby. I swear that I never even thought of these things before I found out I was pregnant.
I am a tyrant. I mean NASTY. I feel bad for the poor people that come into my office. I can go from 0 to 10 in less than a second, and I don't even realize it. Of course, I do have some control in front of the public, but when they leave I let loose. I have actually felt my blood pressure rise in mid-sentence.

One month and...

2008-11-04T14:06:00.005-05:00

Happy One Month Anniversary Baby!!!

And by baby...I am referring to my HUSBAND, William. Ha, never had to even think about making that distinction before. Really though, I am sitting here at my desk, at work, where I should be actively working, laughing at myself. Sometimes I find the smallest of things to be the most amusing!

Another thought...maybe it is a one month anniversary for THAT baby too! I guess we'll never really know, although I'm sure it would be a close estimate :-)

And since it is our One Month anniversary of blissful marriage, (and because I DO NOT have my wedding pictures back yet) I am going to include my favorite honeymoon pics for your viewing pleasure. These are the pictures that now when I look at them, I wonder if maybe it is a picture of more than just Will and I...maybe there was already more to us than just us two.

I will say it has been a great month...but I'd much rather be in MEXICO :-)

I exercised my right...

2008-11-04T10:24:00.001-05:00

Yup, I sure did. And, I even waited in line to do so!

I love peeing on sticks

2008-11-01T12:03:00.008-04:00

Why, you ask? Why would I take a pregnancy test at this point? Haven't I already taken 8 of them? Haven't I already been to a doctor, someone who spent exactly 5 minutes fumbling around below my belt to finally exclaim, "Yup, seems about right." Well I don't know. It isn't that I doubt his training, or the hundreds of thousands of dollars and years of his life spent on his education so that he could make said exclamation. No. I guess the best way to explain why I took ANOTHER test is that I lack his expertise on the current subject matter. I am not a doctor, and I am not even close to understanding what is going on inside my cute little (hopefully) uterus. I am, however, the other person living inside of my body right now, and I just need to know that I'm not alone. So, as long as the educated doctors are comfortable with waiting 11 weeks to take a peak inside of me and see what is going on, I am comfortable doing the only thing my meager and uneducated self can do. I will continue to take pregnancy tests.

So the only thing I can suggest that you do, if you have a problem with my approach, is buy stock in at-home pregnancy tests. While the stock markets crumble around us and banks borrow more money, take heart in knowing that pregnancy tests will never lose their value to the poor, gynecologicaly uneducated, first-time baby incubator out there.

I am NOT good at waiting

2008-10-31T12:00:00.002-04:00

I can't stand this. Already I have so much to sit around and wait for. I am still waiting for my freakin wedding pictures for heaven's sake!!! I know, that is a little sad. I'm already pregnant and I haven't even gotten the pictures back yet from our wedding (nor have I gotten an official copy of our marriage certificate yet so that I can change my name with the Government).

Now I have new stuff to wait for. I have to WAIT for my ultrasound. God only knows what is going on in my body...but no one cares. I'm seriously upset by this. What IF something is wrong? I mean don't they want to SEE the baby? I know I do. I want to hear a heartbeat, something that gives me PROOF that I am, in fact, with child. UGH.

Not to mention, that I have to wait at least 34 more weeks to even see this person that may (or may not, refer to above paragraph) be living inside of me! I mean, come on...that isn't fair. This is SO worse than not knowing what Will is getting me for Christmas. I hate waiting and I hate not knowing. I have to do BOTH, simultaneously for the next 34 freakin weeks.

So because I am so horrible at this, I found a website that told me what I want to know. My child will look like one of these two options (boy or girl...I don't know, I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THAT TOO):

What do you think about my little new baby William?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

What do you think about my little new baby Lillian?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

I could pass as a water balloon for Halloween

2008-10-31T09:37:00.004-04:00

This sucks. I have been pretty positive about things so far, but this punch is below the belt. LITERALLY. How can I not fit into my pants? Seriously people. I am not THAT pregnant. Really though...I am retaining more water than the Titanic, and I'm not about to go down without a fight. This being bloated crap has got to be kidding me.
Stay tuned for more horror stories from the dark side...

The aftermath...

2008-10-29T13:13:00.003-04:00

I know people don't tell people that they are expecting until they are past the first trimester. I know this. I just don't care. I am an open person, I share things about myself with people that I'm sure could do without...all of the time. It is just who I am. If something is wrong with me, you'll know it. If I am happy, you'll also know it. I'm one of THOSE people. The people that smile when they are happy, and cry when they are sad, and doesn't care who notices.

I am also the kind of person that can't stand to keep a secret from someone. Well, I'll modify that statement...I can't keep my own secrets. I give Will his birthday and Christmas presents early, in fact it's a good thing I'm also a procrastinator and don't get my shopping done early or he might have already gotten his Christmas present. I was also the kid that looked all over the house to find her gifts, and then opened them just to see what was inside. To me, it doesn't diminsh the value of something just because it is known.

I couldn't help telling my family, I knew they would be happy. And after I told my family, I had to tell my closest friends because I felt like I was keeping a secret from them, and I don't do that...they would also most likely notice if I just stopped drinking all of the sudden. Of course, then came my work...I had to tell the people I work with everyday because they would certainly notice some changes. Of course, people told other people. Now I'm not even sure who knows, and I've only known for 4 days. WOW.

Well...the honeymoon went well

2008-10-29T12:50:00.005-04:00

Yeah. So Mexico was great. We had so much fun "relaxing" and doing touristy things. However, all I kept saying to everyone when we got back is that we didn't even bring home a souvenir...except for the 4 bottles of tequila. Well, I was wrong. REALLY wrong. We brought back a souvenir to last a lifetime.

It is so weird how you just "feel" something happening inside of you and just know what is going on. That happened to me last Friday. I just had a feeling. So, of course, I told my husband (still getting used to using that term for him) that we ought to buy a pregnancy test while we were at Target getting some of the items off of our registry that we didn't receive as wedding gifts. He didn't protest, and so we got one. As soon as we arrived back at the house that evening, I ran upstairs to take the test. I knew that they say morning pee is the best...but I couldn't wait any longer. Something was going on inside of me and I had to know.

Well, after 2 minutes I looked at the stick. Okay, so I stared at it the entire time, but whatever! I wasn't sure what to make of the faint vertical line that was in place where a plus sign would appear if the test was positive. I took the test downstairs and asked Will to interpret the results as well. He was unsure...but said he saw a faint blue line but neither of us knew what that meant. HA! So, back to CVS I went...and purchased every brand of digital pregnancy test that they carry...you know, the ones that say "Yes" or "No", and "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant". I figured that a word is much better than a symbol when our future is on the line.

So, needless to say, another quick trip upstairs and we had confirmation. PREGNANT.